Rule # 1: Don't Piss Off the Bees

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight!

So now you know rule number 1. Rule # 2 is remember rule #1.

I read in one of my bee books that the only time the author was stung is when he was careless, a little too cavalier about approaching his bees. So what did I do today? Broke every damn rule of beekeeping and almost wound up like poor Gloria Swanson at the end of 1974's Killer Bees, with the little buggers crawling all over her. We didn't bring the smoker, wore dark clothes, went in the late afternoon, my shirt wasn't tucked in, and when they attacked, rather than standing still, I panicked and ran! O what a fool I be.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!

What was especially foolish, was the fact that these are new colonies and I really did not know their temperament. I learned. Colony number two is just a wee bit irritable when you open their hive top and start playing around with their comb.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!

And all we were trying to do is make sure they were happy and settling in well. Well, they are settling in, but they sure weren't happy today.

I'll show then who is boss -- I'm calling up a local bear to pay them a visit.

Since this already seems like Sesame Street with the counting, I'll tell you, today's word is... OUCH.

Why couldn't it have happened to someone more worthy, like Dick Cheney.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Don't worry, Ma, I'm all right (and they say it's good for arthritis, so the joints in my left hand should be terrific.