It's an interesting perspective, not living in a major city like New York, Chicago or Los Angeles. Things in the "country" are just different. There is a certain quality of life that doesn't compare.
My friends keith adn Lisa own a restaurant, mostly Italian food. They've got a little bit of ;land surrounding it, and today held an Oktoberfest party. There were games for the kids, pick-your-own-pumpkins, a pumkin painting contest live band, a small truck with various Oktoberfest beers on tap, wine and food. Oh, the food! Sauerkraut, red cabbage, knockwurst, bratwurts and a pork loin rouladen that was out of this world and potato pancakes and potato salad. A few desserts including fried-to-order then stuffed with homemade lingonberry-raspberry preserves Berliners (as in Ich bin ein Berliner). A full plate of food was only $10.00. At dusk, everyone could walk or drive over to the town park, where a free haunted hayride was available to all who wanted to partake.
What struck me the most about this event, was the groups of neighbors, friends and acquaintances standing around in groups and chatting as would happen anywhere, a NYC cocktail party, Hollywood Oscar party, etc. But, folkks this is in exurban New York, 80 miles WNW of the city. Most lawns are dotted with McCain posters, many card have "Life Member of the NRA" stickers.....this is one of those places where "Liberal" is a four-letter word.
I am part of this community, I've worked at Keith and Lisa's restaurant off and on for nine years. Most of these people know me, I've ccoked and served a lot of food to them. Some also know me from my job at the museum. They know who I've been Bar Mitzvahed, can guess my political beliefs from my "Impeach Cheney First" and Obama bumper stickers, and most have met my partner of 14 years, David.
As I walked around his festival this afternoon, there wasn't a single small conversation group where someone didn't immediately grab my hand, or hug me, greet me with warm smiles and ask, as if truly interested how I was and what was happening in my life. And I'm talking about he men as well as the women -- well, women of all ages, and the men are the guys mostly in their 20's to early 40's. Yes hugging m the fag, not afraid that it might rub off on them or something.
Now, I'm not saying there's no homophobia or anti-semitism around here, but you'll find that anywhere. But most of these folks, the ones the city folk make fun of are decent, kind, caring individuals, who are quick to offer a hand when you need it, including some hard labor jobs. In NYC this happened during blackouts, in times of crises, but up here, there is a sense of community, and if you are willing to not act as if you know better because you are from "The City" then you are warmly welcomed and treated as the natives.
That's why I live here....oh adn the colors of the leaves through all of my windows is extraordinary now -- you city dwellers can't say that!!!!!!!
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>> …but up here, there is a sense of community, and if you are willing to not act as if you know better because you are from "The City" then you are warmly welcomed and treated as the natives. <<
You hit the nail right squarely on the head! It's a social phenomenon; the behavioral differences between people who live in high-density population areas (i.e. major cities) and the people who live in low-density population areas (i.e. rural cities and towns).
New Yorkers, for example are not all that friendly towards strangers until there's a real need (such as help, I'm lost) or a major crisis (blackouts, 9/11, etc.). Another example is that there’s no such thing as alternate merge at an intersection. On the other hand, “small town” dwellers always have a smile and a “howdy” for *anyone* who passes by. Another example here in this environment, is that drivers will first wave you on to “go through” before they themselves proceed through that same intersection.
When I moved from Los Angeles (LA) to Charleston, SC (CHS), I drew on my social experiences and studies that I have read along life’s way. I knew my transition (from large western city to small eastern rural type of city) would fail if I brought my LA ways with me and expected CHS to behave like LA.
While I was assimilating into CHS’s way of life, I never used the phrase “In LA we would…). That would have instantly separated me as an outsider who wanted to change their long established ways and take them out of their comfort zone. Instead I adopted a different frame of reference. My new modus operandi was to observe, appreciate and celebrate their cultural and regional differences. Yup, I joined them instead of setting myself apart from them. My assimilation was very easy because of my awareness of them. Also, as the song sez; accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.
The end result is that, socially, I have never been happier, I know more people and have more good friends than I have ever had. It is such a wonderful feeling: ** when strangers say “good morning” as they walk by,
** to say “good morning” to strangers say as they walk by,
** to let someone else go ahead of you,
** when neighbors that take the time to stop and chat as they walk or drive by
** someone calls me while I’m away to ask if I left my garage door open on purpose
** etc.
But, you also must be a friend if you want a friend. What you give out, you get back. What goes around, comes around. Remember karma?
After having spent only a year in Charleston, I could never move back to Los Angeles.
DEMOCRATS: Keep the faith, baby.
REPUBLICANS: Keep the baby, Faith.
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